The “Join Zoom Call” button pops up on the screen, and I can feel my chest tighten. I take a deep breath, and within minutes I’m face to face with a sea of eager, smiling professionals—teachers, therapists, psychologists, and more—all with one common agenda:
My daughter.
Facing Discouragement
Meetings like this may be a frequent occurrence when your neurodiverse child has an IEP— an individualized education plan—but for me, and I’m sure many others, it never gets any easier.
Perhaps this is your reality too. As the parent of a first grader with Autism Spectrum Disorder, meetings like this one are becoming a somewhat familiar part of our routine, yet I would be lying if I said I still didn’t sometimes find them intimidating and discouraging. I wait on tenterhooks as those ‘in the know’ speak about my daughter’s progress in such clinical terms—her test scores, her functional ability, her challenges. Oh there’s positives too of course, but that’s not what my thoughts usually dwell on. No, at the end of the day, I find myself circling back to all the ways she is allegedly not measuring up, not coping well, simply not enough.
I know I’m probably not alone in feeling this way. So, if you’re feeling weighed down by the reports you’ve heard at the end of the year about your precious child, I want to share a few snippets from Scripture to remind you who and Whose they truly are. I hope it helps keep you grounded in the truth of all that they were created to be, and that no matter what the professionals say, their identity and worth are already secure in Him.
What the Bible Says About Your Neurodiverse Child:
1. They Are Made in His Image
“So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them.”
Genesis 1:27
Let’s keep in mind this simple truth: Our children are image-bearers of the God of the Universe. Each one is created in their own unique and wonderful way to reflect their Creator.
My child’s creativity and curiosity, her gentle spirit and empathy for all living things, her determination and passions; her offbeat sense of humor and infectious joy for life—they all point directly back to Him. Her unique blend of characteristics reflect the different facets of the Father like a living, breathing kaleidoscope of color and light, through which others can see and experience Him in wonderful and surprising new ways.
There are times, I admit, that I wish she wasn’t so different. Yet by dismissing our children’s differences, we are, by default, dismissing the nature of God; by embracing them, we are able to enter into a richer, fuller understanding of Who He is—and what a gift that is to experience, even in the trenches of special needs parenting.
By dismissing our children’s differences, we are, by default, dismissing the nature of God; by embracing them, we are able to enter into a richer, fuller understanding of Who He is.
vicki bentley
2. They Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”
Psalm 139:14
Sometimes it can feel like our children are square pegs in a round hole. They simply don’t ‘fit’.
Yet our children are not merely lumps of clay created to fit the mold; they are clay in the hands of the Master Potter—a Potter who molded them with tender love and exquisite care. He crafted every remarkable detail of their being, even down to the hairs on their head.
They don’t need to ‘fit in’ to be accepted into God’s Kingdom for they already have a place there. Just as they are. And if people don’t accept the unique gifts they offer, it’s, quite frankly, their loss. They will eventually find their people; their passions; their purpose. And they don’t have to change a single thing about themselves to do it.
There’s a pressure these days to have Pinterest perfect life—and that includes our children. But the truth is— it’s all a lie. We are all created perfectly to be wonderfully imperfect. Fitting in is overrated.
3. They are Set Apart
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart”
Jeremiah 1:5
As children of God, each one of our kids has been created with a plan and purpose in mind, divinely appointed to do “good works, which God prepared in advance for [them] to do” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV). Their distinct personalities, passions, talents, and traits are no happy coincidence, but gifts He has given them in order to do His Kingdom work, and do it well (Romans 12:6).
Their distinct personalities, passions, talents, and traits are no happy coincidence, but gifts He has given them in order to do His Kingdom work, and do it well (Romans 12:6).
Vicki bentley
Therefore, as Paul concludes in Romans 12:4: “since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be” (MSG). They each have been given a distinct voice within the symphony of Heaven to reach and bless those around them, simply by being themselves. And if we diminish that voice we diminish them—and the vital Kingdom work God chooses to do in and through them.
Holding Onto the Truth
As we sit through meetings and evaluations about our children, aching for someone to see beyond the diagnoses that define them, past the labels that so often scream ‘less than’ let’s remember these truths from God’s Word. All the labels or professional opinions in the world cannot adequately express or diminish the whole picture of who they truly are—a beloved child of God.
Made in His image, wonderfully created, and set apart for His purposes: This is their God-given evaluation. And nothing or no one can ever take that away.
Made in His image, wonderfully created, and set apart for His purposes: This is their God-given evaluation. And nothing or no one can ever take that away.
vicki bentley