“Mama stay.”
At four years old, the night terrors have returned with a vengeance. Her bedroom, once cosy, familiar and safe, has become an unfamiliar landscape of lurking creatures and hidden shadows. Terrors of the Night. She is afraid to be alone.
Tonight I am her watchman. Standing guard over her bed like a sentinel, keeping her from harm, both real and imagined. Watching over her small, restless body and praying peace over her troubled soul. In my presence she finally feels safe. Her breathing slows, her body rests. The monsters of her mind no longer hers to fight.
The night wears on and my human limitations become evident. I am tired, so tired —and the sweet allure of sleep is calling. I briefly succumb to temptation and snap awake, ashamed of my failings. For abandoning my post, and my little charge for even a second. She needs me, and yet even for her, I cannot fulfil the watchman’s duty.
She needs more than I can give. She needs Jesus.
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. “
~Psalm 121.
He is the true Watchman. The One who never tires, or abandons His post. Who overcomes all darkness and drives out all fear. Who has stood guard over her from the moment she was born and will continue to do so, all the days of her life.
The responsibility is not mine alone—He will be Watchman for both of us. For this weary mama and her frightened child there will be peace.
“In peace and with a tranquil heart I will lie down and sleep. For You alone Oh Lord, make me dwell in safety and absolute trust ” (Psalm 4:8, AMP)